she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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