He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
