You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
