She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
