barbara walters just said penis...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
