I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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