my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
