Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
