some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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