You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
