If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize