im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
