I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
