her vagine was all disorganized.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
