i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
