When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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