Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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