i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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