why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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