I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
