do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize