that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
