you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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