Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize