Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
