he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
