fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
