Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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