first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
