so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
