I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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