you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
