It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
God, I missed his penis.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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