they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
