Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
