I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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