Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
