Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
