I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize