Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
