checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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