I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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