just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
