tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We smell like vodka and hangover
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