dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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