Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
