I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
