all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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