he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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