This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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