Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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