I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
