when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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