Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
