THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
