You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
