so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
