wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
