I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
