I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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