She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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