I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
