I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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