meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
