I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Green mimosas i think yes
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
