Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
