You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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